warning....

this post may cause nausea. 

it's mostly for me

so feel free to skip this one.  :) 

besides, who really wants to read

a blog from an overemotional mom.

anyway... this is lily's last week of school...

and i am elated.... and sickened.

i el.oh.ve.ee having my girls home

ALL summer.

it apparently is a theme

with moms of girls. 

the moms of boys i talk to

like it for about 3 weeks and

then are ready for september... ha ha

it's certainly that anyone loves

their kids more than anyone else. 

must be because they are rowdier and more physical.

i'm not sure. 

anyway, so that's the elation part.

the sickened part is that

i am now extremely close to losing

my elle to kindergarten.  :(

i sit here with tears streaming

just thinking about it.

it just feels different

from sending lily. 

i knew she would be okay. 

she's my firstborn.

she's strong. 

she's a leader.

don't get me wrong...

elle is strong but also very unpredictable.

i knew lily would never shed a tear at school.

the thought of elle ever being sad and wanting me

turns me instantly into a puddle.

she was my baby the longest. 

she was my little rock

during two pregnancies of horrid morning (ha!!) sickness.

we had such a lovely routine during those tumultuous months.

i would feel fine when i first woke up

but it was instantly downhill from there. 

by lunchtime, i was in bed.

we would turn a laundry basket upside down,

pull up a chair and she would have lunch with me.

and then we would have a glorious nap!

i loved when she fell asleep before me

because i would just watch her... 

sucking her thumb,

either holding hands or

making me hold onto her leg

(she's such a toucher, always has been).

i just also am sad

that my alone time is over with her. 

the baby naps all afternoon

so that's just our time

and now it's over.

i don't want her lost to the

middle child syndrome

and want her to always know

just how wonderful i think she is!

 

thank you for those who pushed through to the end

with no promise of anything fun. ha ha

i just feel so incredibly blessed that

God saw fit to give me these 3 perfect gifts

and i not only love them with everything within me...

i just really, really like them.